I was cleaning my house after a trip back from the beach with my family. We had left in a rush so I didn’t come to neatly arranged house like I usually plan to when we go away. Covid-19’s toll on my family’s routine had come to full effect and we decided to face it and take the risk of traveling, we went away for a few days to our favorite beach. Boy did we need it, the kids had a blast and we got to unwind and forget about the troubles of our adult lives for a few days while connecting with dear friends who traveled with us. It was exactly what my soul needed before jumping back into the mundane of Covid-19 routine again.
When we got home, I wanted to start fresh so I put on my worship music, lemon and lavender essential oils in my diffuser and got busy with my cleaning. Kids were napping and my husband somewhere upstairs. It was quiet and the healing of my soul that began by the ocean hadn’t left my spirit yet. I was in fact trying to hold on to that quiet sweet closeness I felt with the Lord while taking long walks on the beach early mornings before anybody got a chance to wake up and I had to put my mommy hat on. My spirit was full and my heart at peace, it was the perfect time for Him to speak to me. Just like the amazingly timely God He is, I heard him say these words to me clear as day “in this season NO is going to be your saving grace”
I was a bit taken aback, I stopped to pray and make sure I wasn't making this up. I felt the clarity of God’s voice but was confused by the message. No? You want me to say no? To what? To whom? What is this? I’ll be honest I was a bit scared, because every time the Lord speaks to me like this something major happens in my life. So I paused to take notice of the moment and say out loud, I trust you Lord, show me the way and I’ll say no. For some reason I felt like checking my email in the middle of my cleaning frenzy. I paused and clicked on my inbox, a very important email I’ve been waiting for was there. I read through it looking for the yes in the question I had proposed, it was a no...I physically felt the pain in my heart, like a dagger went in and got stuck there. The peace and quiet I was enjoying left me in that split of a moment and I was left with a throbbing pain in my chest.
No? Really?! I sat in shock for a few minutes, trying to orient myself to reality. I didn’t know whether to go upstairs and spill my guts to my husband or cry out to the Lord in anger. Actually I was embarrassed more than I was angered and I didn’t know how to express that to either one of them at that moment, my husband felt far from my reach even though he was just upstairs I didn't have the emotional energy to climb the stairs and God felt distant and disengaged because he let this happen. The closeness I felt to him just moments ago disappeared and I reached my phone to call my best friend, as if she'd have the answers. She too didn’t answer, where is she when I need her? All of a sudden it hit me, God literally had told me that a no was coming and that it was a good one but I had chosen to receive it defensively.
I thought he told me I had to say no to things not the other way around. I thought because of the season of confusion I was in, he was preparing me to set boundaries but the message was clear, whether it’s a no from me or a no from others towards me, God’s plan for my life is good and he’ll watch over me through people and circumstances disappointing me. He’ll even guide me as I disappoint others because of the boundaries I set and they may not like. No is a double edged sword, one God uses to protect me from harm or toxic environments.
What is God telling you to say no to? What no has he allowed that has crushed your soul? Trust in the Lord and in his goodness, he doesn’t let one hair fall from your head without his will, don’t let the enemy deceive you into believing that this no is out of God’s Will for your life. Remember ️“all things work together for those who love God and are called according to his purposes.” Romans 8:28 even NOs.